Apr 18 , 2020

'Gender Studies Degrees' Renamed 'Non-Essential Worker Degrees'

U.S.—More colleges across the country have been renaming their gender studies degrees "non-essential worker degrees" in a bid to be more honest about what exactly the course of study entails.

"We wanted to be a little more honest about what you can expect from a liberal arts program -- sorry, a non-essential worker program," said Bob Kentmire-Jones Weddington-Meier, Dean of Wiener University in Portland. "Whenever people need to be sent home, to be transparent, you'll be the first to go. It will be kind of nice for you, sometimes, actually, since you'll get to stay home and collect a check from the government instead of going out and being productive."

The colleges confirmed that nothing has changed in the actual studies being offered by the gender studies programs, but now they can't be sued for false advertising. "You'll know right from the get-go that the quadrisexual, trans 43rd, or There are More than Two Genders classes you're taking are completely useless and non-essential."

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